1
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:13,875
You would have had to take two buses and a subway,

2
00:00:14,416 --> 00:00:16,583
and you would have been late. 

3
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,583
So you took a cab.

4
00:00:22,208 --> 00:00:24,208
Around you,

5
00:00:24,208 --> 00:00:26,458
the colours stutter.

6
00:00:28,125 --> 00:00:30,458
It smells like water somehow.

7
00:00:31,291 --> 00:00:34,833
That’s because – you don’t know it yet – 

8
00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:37,458
you’re about to go under

9
00:00:37,458 --> 00:00:39,583
and you’ll stay there for a long time.

10
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:42,458
A long time.

11
00:00:47,375 --> 00:00:55,333
going under

12
00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:01,125
Five months later, things are better,

13
00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:03,208
but they’re not “good.”

14
00:01:04,125 --> 00:01:07,125
You’ve started working again. You’re functional.

15
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:10,833
You’re no longer just lying in bed all day, motionless.

16
00:01:11,583 --> 00:01:14,583
You can finally swallow more than just soup.

17
00:01:16,208 --> 00:01:21,125
You manage to sleep at night – not much, but at least a little.

18
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:27,250
You’re able to face people again.

19
00:01:30,583 --> 00:01:34,666
The people around you are relieved to see the improvement.

20
00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:37,875
They think you’re “cured.”

21
00:01:38,791 --> 00:01:39,625
- Sophie!

22
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,666
Sophie, hi!

23
00:01:42,208 --> 00:01:44,583
- Hey, Laura. Hi.

24
00:01:45,541 --> 00:01:46,958
- You okay?
- Yes, you?

25
00:01:46,958 --> 00:01:49,958
They’re happy. Good for them.

26
00:01:49,958 --> 00:01:52,333
Now that you’re out of the danger zone,

27
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:53,708
your case doesn’t interest them anymore.

28
00:01:53,708 --> 00:01:55,791
- How did you like the concert?

29
00:01:55,791 --> 00:01:56,958
- Fine.

30
00:01:56,958 --> 00:01:59,208
But my favourite version of the Shostakovich is still

31
00:01:59,208 --> 00:02:00,791
the one by Brigitte Poulin that we saw two years ago.

32
00:02:00,791 --> 00:02:02,416
- It's those tempo choices, isn't it?

33
00:02:02,416 --> 00:02:04,666
 I’m actually totally on board with these ones…

34
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:07,750
You know Laura from university. 
The two of you studied together.

35
00:02:08,958 --> 00:02:11,166
Like most people who’ve studied music,

36
00:02:11,166 --> 00:02:13,708
 she doesn’t really play anymore.

37
00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:18,166
Three years from now, she’ll take a trip 
to Vietnam that will change her life.

38
00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:21,333
She’ll settle down there with a Brit from Manchester.

39
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:24,666
- By the way, this is Anne!

40
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:25,791
Anne, this is Sophie.

41
00:02:25,791 --> 00:02:27,916
- Nice to meet you.
- Anne is doing a PhD in musicology.

42
00:02:27,916 --> 00:02:30,250
She’ll be submitting her thesis any day now.
- Nice to meet you!

43
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:34,583
Something about her is strange,

44
00:02:35,750 --> 00:02:38,750
but you can’t tell right away what it is.

45
00:02:39,666 --> 00:02:42,666
The stitching under her neckband.

46
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,500
Her T-shirt is on backwards.

47
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:47,791
- Your thesis is on Schumann’s writings? 

48
00:02:47,791 --> 00:02:49,791
Nice! Who’s your advisor?

49
00:02:49,791 --> 00:02:51,666
- Bernard Williams… Know him?

50
00:02:51,666 --> 00:02:54,000
- Bernard Williams! Of course! 

51
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,333
We had him speak at a conference I organized last year.

52
00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:58,625
He’s brilliant.

53
00:02:58,625 --> 00:03:00,791
- Ha! I was at the conference!

54
00:03:00,791 --> 00:03:03,375
 Maybe we crossed paths without even knowing it? 

55
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,666
- Mmm, I don’t think so. 
I had to drop out midway through the planning. 

56
00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:06,666
I didn’t go.

57
00:03:06,666 --> 00:03:08,833
- Oh. How come?

58
00:03:10,375 --> 00:03:12,375
- I was sick.

59
00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:15,833
You’ll never see her again.

60
00:03:16,416 --> 00:03:18,750
She’ll move to the Eastern Townships with her boyfriend,

61
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:22,208
in one year, two months, and four days.

62
00:03:22,208 --> 00:03:28,166
She’ll live happily, then die of lung cancer at the age of 57.

63
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:32,500
She’s been a chain-smoker since she was 11

64
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,958
and she could never quit.

65
00:03:40,291 --> 00:03:42,708
You smoke, too,

66
00:03:42,708 --> 00:03:45,041
 but you won’t die of lung cancer

67
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:48,041
 like the girl with the backwards T-shirt.

68
00:03:49,791 --> 00:03:52,791
You’ll die of something else.

69
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,541
You’ve been working for a concert booking company for two years now.

70
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:04,875
You fill out forms, draw up budgets,

71
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:10,583
write grant proposals, shake hands, look for donors… 

72
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:14,125
The pay isn’t great, but it’s enough. 

73
00:04:15,416 --> 00:04:20,625
Of course, it’s not what you had in mind when you were studying music.

74
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:25,208
You’d always wanted to do research.

75
00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:27,541
Like Bernard Williams.

76
00:04:27,541 --> 00:04:30,541
Travelling around the world to give talks

77
00:04:30,583 --> 00:04:33,583
on Liszt and Wagner...

78
00:04:34,666 --> 00:04:37,375
But that’s not how things turned out.

79
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:39,750
- Did you receive my press release?

80
00:04:39,750 --> 00:04:42,250
- Yes. I’ll get to it the second I’m done with this grant report.

81
00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:43,500
- Perfect, thanks.

82
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,541
Oh, and don’t forget to CC Réjean.

83
00:04:45,541 --> 00:04:46,458
- Of course.

84
00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:50,625
Marc has a great smile.

85
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,708
His smile didn’t quite look the same

86
00:04:52,708 --> 00:04:55,708
 when he was talking behind your back two weeks ago.

87
00:04:56,666 --> 00:04:59,666
 With some of the others, around a table.

88
00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:03,416
You’ve known each other for a while.

89
00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:04,750
- If there’s anything, let me know.

90
00:05:04,750 --> 00:05:06,500
- Okay.

91
00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:12,666
Marc will change jobs often.

92
00:05:12,666 --> 00:05:15,666
He’ll have two boys – twins – 

93
00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:18,375
and he’ll marry twice. 

94
00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:21,375
His second wife will have borderline personality disorder 

95
00:05:21,916 --> 00:05:24,916
and manipulate him until his death.

96
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,750
You tried therapy, of course.

97
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,958
But it got too expensive.

98
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:39,750
Besides, after eight sessions,
you felt like it wasn’t really helping.

99
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:43,250
You lied to your therapist.

100
00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:44,875
You said you were doing better,

101
00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:49,125
you didn’t need to see her anymore.

102
00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:55,208
Did something trigger all this?

103
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:58,250
Or is it just a neurological imbalance?

104
00:05:59,083 --> 00:06:01,541
How come one day you woke up

105
00:06:01,541 --> 00:06:04,541
and realized that your life is meaningless, irrelevant?

106
00:06:04,833 --> 00:06:07,833
That you don’t matter?

107
00:06:08,208 --> 00:06:09,916
That there is no future?

108
00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:13,333
That the people around you couldn’t care less about you?

109
00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:17,625
Or even worse, that they’ve been bad-mouthing you?

110
00:06:19,541 --> 00:06:22,666
You didn’t want to try anti-depressants.

111
00:06:22,666 --> 00:06:25,333
You’re afraid of becoming someone else.

112
00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:28,333
Someone you’re not.

113
00:06:30,916 --> 00:06:33,625
And so you found a different way.

114
00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:39,708
Of course,

115
00:06:39,708 --> 00:06:42,500
you know it’s not a solution,

116
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:45,500
but it makes things more bearable.

117
00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:54,000
Most of the time.

118
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,166
- What?

119
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,375
You don’t remember?

120
00:06:58,375 --> 00:06:59,250
 You’ve gotta be kidding!

121
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,416
- I don’t remember.

122
00:07:00,416 --> 00:07:02,375
- That teacher had zero authority over us.

123
00:07:02,375 --> 00:07:03,958
One time, he totally lost it

124
00:07:03,958 --> 00:07:06,208
and left the room to go cry.

125
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:08,375
Remember?

126
00:07:08,375 --> 00:07:10,833
- I don’t remember.

127
00:07:12,208 --> 00:07:12,958
- Poor guy.

128
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:15,250
I almost felt sorry for him.

129
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,708
- Yeah, well… Seriously…you’ve got to be 
a bit of a masochist or an idiot

130
00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:19,958
to want to teach high school English.

131
00:07:19,958 --> 00:07:21,125
- No kidding.

132
00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:23,625
Laurent is a childhood friend.

133
00:07:23,625 --> 00:07:26,625
An alcoholic. Depressed.

134
00:07:26,708 --> 00:07:27,916
Suicidal.

135
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,958
You excuse his drinking. 

136
00:07:32,958 --> 00:07:35,958
You’re always stoned, so who are you to talk?

137
00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:49,333
- Uh...

138
00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:51,291
Uh, Laurent?

139
00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:52,208
Laurent, I

140
00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:54,041
uh

141
00:08:06,041 --> 00:08:07,041
- Okay.

142
00:08:12,041 --> 00:08:15,041
You worry about him constantly.

143
00:08:15,125 --> 00:08:18,125
You’re scared he’ll kill himself.

144
00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:35,541
That’s why you sleep with him.

145
00:08:35,541 --> 00:08:39,250
There’s no other reason, since you don’t really feel like it.

146
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:46,125
He’ll kill himself in three years, eight months, and two days.

147
00:08:48,041 --> 00:08:50,583
You won’t have been able to prevent it.

148
00:08:57,583 --> 00:09:00,583
It was a tiny Pringles crumb.

149
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:03,791
- Okay, I just sent the last file.

150
00:09:03,791 --> 00:09:05,625
If there’s a problem, ask Amélie.

151
00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:06,750
 I’ve explained it all to her.

152
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:09,500
- But you’ll only be gone for a week!

153
00:09:11,958 --> 00:09:13,458
So, what’s in Québec City?

154
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:14,666
- My mother.

155
00:09:14,666 --> 00:09:18,250
- The forecast looks great. Lucky you!

156
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,041
 Pack some sunscreen and have fun!

157
00:09:20,041 --> 00:09:21,250
Ciao!

158
00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:23,916
- Ciao.

159
00:09:27,416 --> 00:09:32,041
His suggestions go down like a big glass of saltwater.

160
00:09:34,166 --> 00:09:36,333
You’re leaving for a week.

161
00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:40,666
They’ll be able to talk about you all they want.

162
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:47,000
You wonder if they’d look through your stuff.

163
00:10:18,208 --> 00:10:20,291
The boy’s name is Etienne.

164
00:10:20,291 --> 00:10:23,291
 He’ll be very, very rich one day.

165
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:29,083
And the baby – she’ll grow up to love orchids.

166
00:10:29,083 --> 00:10:31,625
She’ll teach botany at university.

167
00:10:32,708 --> 00:10:35,250
She’ll become a famous researcher.

168
00:10:36,833 --> 00:10:41,083
That’s something you would have liked to be.

169
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,250
Your mother talks a lot

170
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,000
but she doesn’t listen much. 

171
00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:55,000
Which is fine.

172
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,000
 You don’t know what you’d say to her.

173
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:04,000
You didn’t really come to Québec City to see her, 
but to get away.

174
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,541
Away from everything.

175
00:11:11,541 --> 00:11:14,541
But even here, 230 km from home,

176
00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:17,708
you can’t get away.

177
00:11:20,916 --> 00:11:23,083
It sticks to you…

178
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,208
No, that’s not the word…

179
00:11:25,208 --> 00:11:27,500
It’s suctioned onto you.

180
00:11:28,833 --> 00:11:30,875
You’d give anything for a break.

181
00:11:32,541 --> 00:11:34,916
You just want to stop thinking.

182
00:11:43,666 --> 00:11:46,083
Your mother is out doing some shopping.

183
00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:48,291
There’s just you in the house now.

184
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,666
- Hello! I’m home!

185
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,083
You don’t have to stop because of me.

186
00:13:15,083 --> 00:13:17,500
- No, it’s fine. I’m done.

187
00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:43,666
When you get back a week later,

188
00:13:43,666 --> 00:13:46,666
your apartment is just like you left it.

189
00:13:47,750 --> 00:13:49,708
At work,

190
00:13:49,708 --> 00:13:51,875
 the first thing you check

191
00:13:51,875 --> 00:13:54,083
is the drawer handle.

192
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,833
Five months ago,

193
00:14:20,833 --> 00:14:22,833
you were alone at your place

194
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:25,750
on sick leave, doctor’s orders.

195
00:14:27,458 --> 00:14:28,833
Crying,

196
00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:32,083
that's what you did with your days.

197
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:36,791
You’d dropped everything,

198
00:14:36,791 --> 00:14:39,791
 including the conference you had worked on for a year.

199
00:14:40,791 --> 00:14:43,416
You had let down your team.

200
00:14:46,458 --> 00:14:47,750
That day,

201
00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:50,666
Bernard Williams was giving his talk.

202
00:14:50,666 --> 00:14:52,666
It was happening on the other side of town.

203
00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:55,666
And you were lying on your bed.

204
00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:57,500
- C’mon

205
00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:00,000
Get up

206
00:15:00,708 --> 00:15:03,166
You’d always wanted to see Bernard Williams in person,

207
00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:04,333
- Get up

208
00:15:05,625 --> 00:15:08,625
you had read so many of his books.

209
00:15:09,916 --> 00:15:12,750
You would have had to take two buses and a subway, 

210
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,125
and you would have been late.

211
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:17,916
So you took a cab.

212
00:15:19,083 --> 00:15:20,000
And then

213
00:15:20,833 --> 00:15:22,541
you were about to go in

214
00:15:26,416 --> 00:15:28,125
but you didn’t.

215
00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:36,500
- I’m supposed to be too sick to organize a conference.

216
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:41,083
So I should be too sick to attend one.

217
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:47,416
You imagined the look you’d get from your colleagues.

218
00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:53,083
- First she quits on us,

219
00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:57,416
and then suddenly she’s well enough 
to come see Bernard Williams.

220
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:10,375
You went home, taking two buses and the subway.

221
00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:39,833
The Pringles crumb is in the trash

222
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:43,125
and you get back to work.

223
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,000
What a beautiful day.

224
00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:10,208
- Sophie?

225
00:17:10,208 --> 00:17:12,166
Sophie, that’s your name, right?

226
00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:14,291
You don’t recognize her at first.

227
00:17:14,291 --> 00:17:15,833
- Do you live around here?

228
00:17:15,833 --> 00:17:17,708
- Uh, no… I work here, actually.

229
00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:19,583
- Hey, you might be interested…

230
00:17:19,583 --> 00:17:21,208
Did you know that Bernard Williams

231
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,083
is giving a talk in Vermont?

232
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,916
The girl with the backwards T-shirt!

233
00:17:25,916 --> 00:17:27,375
Her hair is tied back.

234
00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:29,083
- Yeah, I heard about it.

235
00:17:29,083 --> 00:17:31,583
- A bunch of us students are driving down to 
Vermont for the weekend.

236
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,333
There’s a spot left in the van. Interested?

237
00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:36,666
We’d ask for a bit of gas money, that’s all.

238
00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:37,791
- Hmm.

239
00:17:43,958 --> 00:17:44,916
Want a cigarette?

240
00:17:44,916 --> 00:17:46,791
- No, thanks, I don’t smoke.

241
00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:48,583
- Oh. You quit? 

242
00:17:48,583 --> 00:17:50,000
- Quit? No.

243
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,083
I never started.

244
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:04,375
- So?

245
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,125
Want to come along?

246
00:18:07,458 --> 00:18:09,000
To Vermont?

247
00:18:10,958 --> 00:18:14,083
 It would be really nice!

248
00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:19,208
- Maybe.

249
00:18:19,208 --> 00:18:20,041
- Well, here’s my card,

250
00:18:20,041 --> 00:18:21,500
with my number.

251
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,958
- Okay, I’ll see.

252
00:18:22,958 --> 00:18:25,458
- We’re leaving Saturday at 8 a.m. Text me!

253
00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:26,416
Bye!

254
00:18:26,625 --> 00:18:27,541
- Bye.

255
00:18:49,083 --> 00:18:51,791
There’s that smell of water again.

256
00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:55,291
It will linger for a long time.

257
00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:57,541
A long time.

258
00:19:50,291 --> 00:19:55,875
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