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caacrinolas 
Looking for Jack in Chirstmas town
Posts: 49
(11/13/01 3:52:41 am)
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I'm sick.
As paradoxal as it will seem, I'm gonna whine about people who are whining. I recently kept myself away from the boards because I didn't find any pleasure in it anymore.
First in the attic because I just don't feel like a part of the family anymore; I don't play videogames, i'm not really interested in cheesy lovin' things, I don't like to talk about computers and I haven't seen cowboy bebop completely. I don't blame anyone, it's the way it is, that's all, I gotta accept that.
Then this board was created, with some oldies, topics seemed to be a lot more interesting and significant. Because of my low ability of expressing myself on the subject, I kept lurking around, and every day I just kept more and more sick of it.
Look at all the topics yourself. It's all whiny posts about politics, about how the world is sad, how life sucks big time. Who's turn to say that they hate life? I used to go to ezboard to share passions and interests, but now we seem to share only disinterests.
Yeah, it was good to go after a day in a board to see friends, to talk about life, to escape real life problems, but when it becomes more depressive than real life, I can hardly understand the purpose of such a board. To organize a revolt? Don't bullshit me; have you done something concrete yet? Why is it so 'fashion' to say that life sucks? Why do you feel obligated to only see the darkest sides of it?
I just went to the philo section, and when I read the replies of the "are you happy being alive" topic, I just wanted to vomit. How dare you say that life isn't worth living? Who are you to place such a judgment? This is a direct attack to that thing we call life - why do we bother being anry at people who are direspectful to nature but not to life itself? Don't you see in it an incredible gift that you intentionaly want to spoil?
I am completely sick of it all. If I were a monster I would say "go to hell you all and die if you wish to, I have no respect for those who have no respect for life". I know I would regret it, and it's not exactly what I think. I'm sick of this pessimistic culture.
Oh and I hear from here: "but life DO suck, we have problems, we have to talk about it, it has to be said or else we will choke, and blah blah blah..." Of course it's okay, but it's becoming a real syndrome! The more sad topics you will read, the more sad topics you will post, because it's a kind of drug, a vortex from which once you're used to it, you don't want to get out. Guy!! Wake up! Don't you see human beings around you? Don't you feel life in your veins? Don't you see music everywhere, in the childrens' mouths and in the trees' leaves? When was the last time you laughed? When was the last time you had fun? Why don't you remerber it as an agreable event instead of an event that happened a long tie ago and that probably won't happen til a lot time?
Is it an obligation to be pessimistic? And don't tell me that it's natural and there's nothing to be happy of! You know very well that you're lying to yourself. It's just a way to calm your conscience and laziness of looking at life if a bright look - which is a lot more difficult and requires a greater effort than just looking at the darkest places.
Yesterday, I learned that there's a guy, he was in my school, in the same grade than me. We trew himself in front of a metro and he died. Yes, suicide, he was 18. At his funerals, everybody had a little paper written from his hand, saying: 'keep living; life is as sad as it is beautiful'.
after this topic death, i'll be leaving. maybe before.
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"Les gens ont tellement confiance en la démocratie qu'ils ne vont pas voter."
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Edited by: caacrinolas at: 11/13/01 3:54:40 am
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7o11
Huh?
Posts: 38
(11/13/01 4:39:06 am)
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Re: I'm sick.
 i'm saddened to hear that you'll be leaving. I just wanted to say that you'll always be part of the Attic 'family'. People always want to be sad, and i agree with you that they're always so pessimistic. It's as if they want to make themselves suffer. I'm very sorry about what happened with the guy and the metro.
I hope i will still see you around. and hopefully we can still meet in the winter with Minh and Pascal and the whole bunch.
------------------------------
"It seems like leaving friends has become
This years trend and though I can’t pretend.
It’s not the same but who’s to blame,
For all those stupid things I never said. "
-Sum 41 "Motivation" |
 ThirdWizard 
Foolish Mortal
Posts: 1
(11/13/01 5:16:15 am)
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Re: I'm sick.
Caa... I don't want to see you go, but I know its your decision if you want to... I've always tried to remain optimistic despite the pessimism that flies around. It seems like depression is spreading rampantly. Actually, I left (read: stopped lurking) at A~V for the same reason.
I'd say don't say you're leaving, because then you'll feel like you can't come back, and you know you're always welcome anywhere you want to post. Here, the Attic, Lazy People, anywhere. We'll always be happy to hear from you.
So take a break if you need it. Sometimes its good to, but keep that in mind.
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"Only a fool loves war," said Calvar, "or a man who has never seen it. The trouble is that the survivors forget about the horrors and remember only the battle lust. They pass on that memory, and other men hunger for it." ~David Gemmell (Legend)
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Tangerine Chan
pinko commie
Posts: 108
(11/13/01 7:06:59 am)
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Re: I'm sick.
Well, excuse me from having a @#%$ emotional disorder, I'd love to get rid of it if I could, but life's just not that simple. I'll try to pretend to be happy for your benefit in the future.
This from someone who made a number of posts at the Attic saying if people want to leave they should just leave and not announce it to make other people feel bad?
I was about to post something at this board. Yes, it was political, and yes, it's probably whiny, but it's important to me and I wanted to maybe get some feedback, and yes, I do have intentions of doing something about it. But why bother? Not like anyone would want to read it anyway.
Yeah, I know this post is way too harsh and I'll probably regret it later, but I'm just really upset and insulted right now. If you want to leave, leave, and come back when you want to come back. Why do you need to make everyone feel guilty for your leaving?
People ask me if I hate the US so much, why don't I just leave? I tell them I don't want to be victimized by its foreign policy.
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caacrinolas
Looking for Jack in Chirstmas town
Posts: 50
(11/13/01 12:51:32 pm)
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Re: I'm sick.
Ok, saying that i'll be leaving was stupid; it was on the impulsion of the moment. But I will eventually take a little brake, and there's no way you have to feel guilty about it. If I can't handle all this pessimism, it's my problem and not yours. Those political posts shouldn't stop to be posted and I never intended to make them stop.
I knew some people would take it bad... tangy, t's not an attack or anything. It's normal if you feel angry, it's okay, it's better for you to be angry at me than anyone else. This wasn't a bye-bye post, I only tried to make a point... I felt that this should have been pointed, that's all. Posting a little "bye bye, i'm leaving because this place sucks" is not my kind, and you know it. Anyway, I would never post something like this in the attic.
And tangy, don't include everyone in my own intentions; I'm far from thinking like you all, and i'm pretty sure that the great majority of people here actually enjoy those posts, I don't see why you should stop them. So saying "Not like anyone would want to read it anyway." isn't really appropriate, and you know it as mch as I do.
And don't regret your post, it's a normal reaction... and i'm also surprised about 7:11 and wizzie answer, I was waiting for much more agressive thoughts. I can predict that i'll be back, because i'll miss you guys too much. I just want to breath for the moment, and leave a note to make you realise the pessimistic atmosphear of here...
I can't say that it is 'wrong', maybe it is not, but I can't say that it is 'good' neither - and I don't really beleive that.
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"Les gens ont tellement confiance en la démocratie qu'ils ne vont pas voter."
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Shadow Nexus 
El chulo de las musas
de La Habana
Posts: 268
(11/13/01 5:56:51 pm)
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Re: I'm sick.
Ouch, you hurt my feelings...
Erm...I know I'm not...erm...I shouldn't takw this post as an attack to me, but you know Caa, I'm really @#%$, and well...erm...well, what Tangy said:
"Well, excuse me from having a @#%$ emotional disorder, I'd love to get rid of it if I could, but life's just not that simple. I'll try to pretend to be happy for your benefit in the future."
Sorry if I sound like an ass, but if you want to leave, then leave, I can't force you to stay.
EDIT: BTW, when I posted that topic that made you want to vomit I was in a really depressive state, just on the edge of cutting my @#%$ veins. Sorry, but some people feel better syaing what they feel.
"Y sal ahí
a defender el pan
y la alegría,
y sal ahí para que sepan
"Que esta boca es mía"
-Joaquín Sabina
 Edited by: Shadow Nexus at: 11/13/01 7:45:00 pm
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Shadow Nexus
El chulo de las musas
de La Habana
Posts: 274
(11/13/01 9:34:18 pm)
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Re: I'm sick.
Quote:
I knew some people would take it bad... tangy, t's not an attack or anything. It's normal if you feel angry, it's okay, it's better for you to be angry at me than anyone else.
Well, I am angry. And yes, now I feel guilty too. And yes, I could start a really long rant, but let's say...that one of my biggest problems is to say what I think without thinking what I say, so I'd better shut up now before I regret it.
"Y sal ahí
a defender el pan
y la alegría,
y sal ahí para que sepan
"Que esta boca es mía"
-Joaquín Sabina
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ThirdWizard
Foolish Mortal
Posts: 1
(11/13/01 11:54:21 pm)
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Re: I'm sick.
Caa, you should know better than to think me ever agressive. 
Okay, recently with Neo, but that's different... ¬_¬
"Only a fool loves war," said Calvar, "or a man who has never seen it. The trouble is that the survivors forget about the horrors and remember only the battle lust. They pass on that memory, and other men hunger for it."
~David Gemmell (Legend)
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ReiChan
3, 2, 1, let's jam!
Posts: 63
(11/15/01 8:41:07 am)
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Re: I'm sick.
Wow. Um, sorry you feel that way, Caa. I wish I could make my neurons behave, I really do. I would probably enjoy being happy. But hey, what are ya gonna do? Life's a bitch that way. Whoops, I did it again. Sorry.
"It's only after you've lost everything
that you're free to do anything."
one day, it'll all make sense...
Rei-chan's very own EZboard!
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